This is the tail end of a looooong story...
My kids and I opened a Child Support Case in 1997. By 2002 I finally started getting consistent payments. We were receiving 85 dollars a week. New York State law states that for two children the noncustodial parent will pay 25% of their income, plus a fair share of any education costs.
We are STILL getting 85 dollars a week! My ex husband brags about $150 remote control cars that HE plays with), going out, his motorcycle, their three poodles, going to Florida, and alll kinds of things that he can enjoy. His son asked him for $168 to take his A+ Certification Exam that he studied all year for. He said he didn't have it. His daughter has asked him for $70 towards her driving learner's permit. He says she doesn't need it (she turned 16 in MARCH!!). He also doesn't understand that kids cost 50% more in the summer. Suddenly I am coming up with snacks and lunches for two that we didn't have to pay for when they are in school.
We haven't been to a summer fair in years. I've never been able to take them to an amusement park, or even the ocean! For fun, we play in the woods.... I am grateful we live in such a beautiful area. The only drawback is that jobs are limited so only one of my kids is working. Albany is 20 miniutes away and for Andrew to get his license, we would need to pay about 500 more a year on our car insurance.
He has a bitter and depressed girlfriend who hates his children and makes it hard for him to bear when they visit (my kids feel it and hate this). They only see him about once a year, if they are lucky. Even then, he won't unless we split the 3 hour's drive transportation. I wish he would just stand up to her and be a man and the Dad he's so capable of being. He is a very sweet and fun guy, when he wants to be.
I've asked for a few bucks for school clothes, and was berated and called names by his girlfriend (of ten years, who has her own money and puts all their assets in her name). The kids and I spent 6 months in a homeless shelter in 1997 while I was attending college.... you think he would have cared.
My daughter had a teenage crisis and I begged him to take her for a couple weeks and he says "You guys seem to forget what I do for a living... I'm a truck driver, I'm all over the place!". Funny, I can't drive trucks, I have kids!! So does he but he fails to acknowledge that they are growing human beings with needs, besides the fact that they KNOW he could see them if he REALLY wanted to. PLUS, if I am getting only $85 a week, there might be an issue; I believe truck drivers make more than 340 a week! I mean, we've been getting the same for over 10 years!
So please, dear reader, bear with me. Today I am going to Albany to file a "Petition of Upwards Modification". I think we will get a little fulfillment, however, knowing my ex, he will just get a job off the books to avoid taking care of his kids. The thing he's going to realize though, is that they are not little kids anymore and even though I've never said anything negative about him to them, they have made their own deductions based on his actions/nonaction.
I just wanted to give you all a quick heads up with the least amount of drama portrayed as possible.
Please keep me in your thoughts today and send me positive energies!
In the meantime, I'm going to take a killer walk while I'm in Albany and get some pics for you all. There's a pretty real pic of me below, knee brace included, lol. We (myself, son and his adorable gf) only did 1 1/2 miles yesterday, but I made a little "Virtual tour" of my jaunt and will finish my composition today after I go to Family Court if I get time and you should see it here this weekend....
Hugs to you all and thanks for listening. I am feeling guilty, behind on my blog reading, and my Twitter but will make it up to you over the weekend!!
2 comments:
It makes me sick when a parent doesn't take the responsibility they should. Good on you for not bad mouthing him in front of your kids. Kids are smart, they can make their own conclusions. Good luck getting what you and your kids deserve!
P.S. When I was a kid I got to do the amusement park, ocean, etc. stuff and the most fun I had with my Mom was still walking through the woods looking for the sassafras and poison ivy and all the different ferns. Taking home the fallen leaves and ironing them between sheets of wax paper was better than any silly souveneir also! I still have some of them!
Believe me I know what you are going through! I have been in the same situation for the past seven years. My daughter turned 18 yesterday so he no longer has to pay. Of course she is going to college and guess who won't pay a dime? Not to mention the insurance, medical and all the other stuff that goes with having children. But, you need to hang in there. Your children will always know how important they are to you and that you love them.
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